Melting Moon

The rain melts the moon-
the silvery sparkles whisper
against my memory.

I dream of mars and red
the blue nightingale sings with the raven
in melody.

I take the pill of guilt and swallow
my pride as I enter into a loving
embrace of family.

Memories of Life

On the marble tombstone

A fatigued image of myself

reflects the aging lines of grief

that has taken me in its grasp during the last week.

Watching the sunken form of my sister beside me convulse

I shake off the sadness and pick up my tears that I could never cry.

The sound of the rustling autumn leaves shifts me back to my childhood

when my siblings and I had made a mountain of the leaves and

dove off the tree branches in our front yard.

Wanting that memory to come alive,

I glance back at the mound of freshly laid dirt

realizing that in two years my older brother

would no longer be older than me.

The River Runneth

Pain

Twisting, torturing

Anguish

Like 30 finals in one day.

Never knowing any answers.

Stress builds

Slowly,

Like the mold on bread

After a month.

Annoyance yields

As I realize I’m just PMSing.

Of course.

Or maybe PWMSing?

That is,

Pissy While Menstruating.

Damn leakage

The dam has broke

Shit!

I hope someone has a

sandbag.

I need to plug the flow. Or

the river may get everywhere.

Shit.

Next time

I’ll remember

to have some on hand.

Huh…

Toilet paper will have to do.

Carbonation of Life

She glances out the window

leaning back on the door

she opens the can of pop—fizz,

and softly sighs.

She sips the carbonation of life

and returns to her desk to write.

She needs something original,

something new,

something not cliché

or tired,

something that will inspire

a new generation of writers.

She needs to be the next Anne

Sexton

without the suicidal tendencies.

She doesn’t throw out or delete her bad

works, she lights them on fire.

She takes her cheap .99 cent plastic lighter

and flicks it to light

the poem that never deserved to

live.

She watches the sun-like flame consume the

paper and the life that she brought about.

She sighs and takes a sip of the carbonation

of life.

The Coldness

The coldness set into her bones

as the dark took her.

Her mouth stitched shut

The last piece of string

stuck out between her two pale lips.

They said nothing as they snipped it.

They covered the rest of her with a white sheet,

a sheet that contoured her lifeless body.

Every curve and niche was shadowed.

Giving a glimpse of what she was like

when she was alive.

Her face gave away everything.

When she was sad, she cried.

Her tears spilled and created a river.

When she was happy

Her laugh was uncontrollable.

Her eyes were always wet

and her tears created a brook.

No one had to guess

at what she was thinking.

She was innocent,

her lies were imperfect

and not successful.

The luster of her brown hair was gone.

The cold lights that shone down on her

didn’t reveal the amber highlights that once

would have shone almost so brightly it would’ve blinded

anyone.

Her dimples, that were now just two more niches,

were her way into and out of

trouble.

In the time when she needed them most,

they failed.

They allowed the gun to unload into her

Her piercing green eyes were her best feature.

Now they would forever be shut.

Her pale pink eyelids allowed no intruders into her soul

Or

into the mystery of her death.

The coldness evaporated

as she looked down upon her old shell

and witnessed the strange
rituals of preparing for life after death

Deserved Depression

Violence Obsessed,
Sex Obsessed society
inanimate babysitters of
lucrative lazy adults
Where public patriotism is
TREASON
Time slips like air
through our fingers
Hope is a distant shadow of the
future.
Amnesia is Sanity.

Change.

Back to Reality, Back to work

I figure that not many will actually view and continue reading this blog, so I'm going to be myself and not try to impress anyone.

After being out of school for two years and not really doing anything except working horrible retail hours, I am going back to school. For what? you may wonder... Well, to be a secondary teacher. I am very excited about this, my heart hammers at the aspect of going back to learning. I seriously haven't been this excited for something in a while. Well, since my wedding, which was over 8 months ago.

Many people think that I am crazy to be excited to go back to school. But there is something refreshing knowing that I will be challenging myself again, instead of settling for comfortable surroundings.

It's amazing how many people just settle once they get into a position that they feel comfortable in. I've seen it happen over and over with friends from college and high school. They stop challenging themselves and fall into the same ole' routine. When that happens, I think that people start to forget to appreciate the small things in life; such as, blue skies, baking summer days, torrential rains, hot cocoa, and don't forget, fluffy snowflakes. I know that sounds cliche, but it seems to be true, or it was for me. I stopped appreciating the ideas of change; when something new comes to you and you can't wait to tell someone. All I thought about was the fact that I was stuck in this job that I really didn't like, but because of my loyalty to the company I felt that I couldn't leave them. Finally I did, and with good reason. And now I am the happiest I've been since I graduated with my B.S.

Okay, now I'm just blabbing, so goodnight.